Haters will hate

I'm feeling myself so close to the edge; actuallly I'm feeling it closer than ever...
Just one more step and everything will be over... just one more...
But I'm too coward, even for that little step that's separating me from the freedom I want to reach.

So many dreams have been destroyed by now; so many times I've had my heart broken; so many people left me behind without a real reason....
"Don't take it personally" they said... but they forgot to tell me what they have on their other hands... each and every one of that group I loved so much, every one had their personal reasons to dump me... just right now...

I maybe could understand some reasons like you can hate me as you do, don't you Mr. Twin? Don't worry, I guess you were just feeling jealous for what was coming...
Nowadays I'm not sure about anything except for one only thing... I'm a thousand times better than you on the stage, and that won't change, even if I'm not up there...
And, please don't take it personally, I do hate you back, as much as for wishing you the worst and slower of the miseries you could ever imagine... and no, I won't have any regrets about this.
If I finally take that step to the edge, it will be you the one to blame... you started all of this, only you. Don't ever try to make people think it was my fault... anyone but you were the starter...
Apart from the hate you, Mr. Twin feel for my, there were things much worst...

... things like Mr. Little, you were supposed to be my friend, my brother... and you just didn't tell me a single word about what's coming, and you already knew it one week before... how could you be that mean?
I loved you more than I love my own family, actually, you were part of my family and you just take the easy way and you hide all of this from me... but worst... you lied to me... why????!!!!
I don't hate you, I can't, and I'm not going to wish you the same luck than Mr. Twin deserves... but I do wish you the same you did to me, exactly the same so you will feel all the pain and sorrow you left inside me... you and every single one there are the worst people I've ever known... you weren't different than them at all...

Sometimes I tried to put myself on your shoes but everytime I think about it I get to the same ending... I would have told you from the very first moment, and secondly, I would have left the group... because no one takes my friends away from me... could you deny that? 'Cause I've shown it several times on less than a year...

These are the first words I write since everything happened... and I won't regret tomorrow... I need to take it out... they weight too much for me...

I'm quite tired... everyday the only think I have on my mind is to take that tiny step that separates me from the freedom...
The light is gone... darkness is coming, and I won't do nothing to avoid it.

I'm gonna take a deep breath and then maybe I'll be able to jump into the edge...